I have impostor syndrome and so much anxiety

How hiring a Service Design coach transformed my business and vision

It's a new year. Let go of the not-Self. Let go of the great dilemmas that the not-Self mind presents to you moment by moment that keep you from your own promise.

–Ra Uru Hu, Developer of Human Design

A stack of Discovery Call questionnaires from women all over the world I’ve met over the years encircled me at 2:00 a.m. this morning.

As I scoured each one meticulously to search for their common pain-points, struggles and desired results, I felt a mix of emotions from compassion to curiosity, to sadness to a strong desire to help. Their vulnerable shares, dreams, and heartfelt hopes brought me a renewed sense of purpose. I felt reminded of why I dedicate myself to continuously learning new modalities while also practicing them in my own life every day in order to stay congruent, connected to my clients’ experiences, as well as, to be honest with myself throughout my own challenges.

For hours, I wrote out by hand on 10 pieces of A4 paper specific words and phrases from all these women worldwide who somehow found their way to me.

Some of them became clients and still are, some of them I never heard from again, and some of them are about to read their very own words below.

What Woman Believe (Gleaned from my Discovery Call prep forms)

• I have impostor syndrome and so much anxiety—I wonder if my anxiety is similar to others. Some days, anxiety and bitterness just hits so hard (this was the most common hurdle these women mentioned)

• I feel like I’m running behind but I also procrastinate

• There’s so much pressure to be perfect

• I have so many limiting beliefs, negative thought patterns, shame and a fear of getting it wrong

• I’ve crashed and burned hustling, pushing and forcing

• I’ve just gone through a major breakup and am heartbroken (this was a frequent one, too)

• I struggle to focus on one goal. I feel disorganized and chaotic

• I’m burnt out and emotionally drained (this one came up several times)

• I’m tired of trying to please everyone

• I need to find out what I want in life

• I need help with panic and overwhelm

• I’m in a really dark place with insomnia, obsessive thinking, and ruminating thoughts— I can’t seem to pull myself out

• I can’t seem to let go

• I’m finding it so hard to find joy in my life

Hours earlier, I had a private session with a Service Design coach I’d hired to take a hard look at my own business. She’s a Self-projected Projector like me and she candidly explained what was underneath all my major business blindspots I’d been having a real tough time sourcing for myself for quite some time.

While our session felt exciting and hopeful, it also felt overwhelming and emotional. I found myself bursting into tears with her often, as well as, later with my husband over dinner.

It’s vulnerable to be seen and held by another yet oddly relieving to have somebody take you by the hand and say, “We’ve got this. You’re not alone. It will get better.” It’s for these very reasons, I’m a firm believer in coaches need coaches, healers need healers, therapists need therapists, etc. We need to remember what our clients experience with us and to get into the hot-seat every now and again.

Yesterday showed me that while I’ve taken countless marketing and business courses, I’d never had someone objectively one-on-one so intensely evaluate me and my operations. My coach paved the way for me to see which aspects of my business were leaking energy and specifically which actionable steps to take to make lasting, significant changes that will add tremendous value to my life, the life of my clients, and my work.

What followed was one of the most eye-opening and emotional experiences of my career as a coach and practitioner. I learned that while I love working alone, there’s always a fellow guide who can see aspects of myself and my work with a sense of freshness, know-how, and love that I might not always hold as openly.

The lighthouse on our island. Taken on the morning of January 8, 2025 in Ouddorp, Goeree-Overflakke, The Netherlands.

What Woman Want

I’m no different from you. I want the same freedom, fun, flexibility and fulfillment I set out to have when I first began my practice more than two decades ago. And, I’ll share openly that a lot of my business foundation was originally rooted in manifestation techniques that I loved and valued, but that I now also see resulted in many of the roadblocks I’d been experiencing. So now, I want a systems-based approach along with distinct strategies I can use in addition to those techniques that will help build my business in an even more magical and magnificent way allowing me to have more sustainable energy for guiding, supporting and empowering the women I work with now and the ones I’ll coach in the future.

Along with extracting the women’s various frustrations and difficulties from my Discovery Call forms, my coach tasked me with compiling all their truest desired results, wishes and wants. What I noticed was: Even though they felt they were struggling to make important and necessary changes, they very were clear when it came to their heart’s desires.

Here’s what they said:

• I want to feel in my power

• I want to address and let go of limiting beliefs

• I want to relax mentally

• I want to not give a shit what others think

• I want to step into a new, authentic me

• I want to do something I love, be recognized for it, and compensated well

• I want to live with purpose, be happy, fulfilled and healthy

• I want to feel seen and no longer stuck

• I want to feel safe in a loving relationship

• I want to find out what I want to do in my life and really own it

• I want to stand in my self-assurance, self-leadership and feel safe to speak up

• I want to learn something new about myself and how to move forward

• I want to feel confident and calm

• I want to fully identify what holds me back

• I want to no longer be afraid

• I want to accept myself

Something to Reflect on

1. Under the section above entitled, “What Women Believe,” which statements do you find yourself repeating over and over?

2. If you were to score those statements on a scale of 0-5 regarding how true they feel for you, what would you score?

3. What do you think it will ideally take to make a powerful transformation and a sustainable shift—can you do it on your own? If not, why not?

Here’s to trying something new, reconnecting with the essence of you, and stepping boldly into what matters next.

With compassion, calm and care-

Laurie x